BDSM DIY

There are a lot of sex toys available out there, but many of them are very expensive. Shelling out the cash for the real deal is certainly a better investment in the long run; quality toys will last longer and generally work better. However, there are less expensive alternatives available that you can find at a local department or hardware store. These options are great especially if you're just starting to experiment with BDSM, and you don't want to make a big investment right away. In this article, I'll go over a list of popular sex toys and show you cheap alternatives that you can use...

Paddles & Spankers

Spanking is one of the most popular bits of kink that most people engage in. I challenge you to find any sexually-active person who has not slapped their partner's ass or had their ass slapped by a partner during sex. When your bare hand just isn't enough (or you've used it so much your hand itself is sore), you need something to help. While quality leather paddles like the one in the link above can run around $30, there's a much cheaper way to get your spanking kicks...

When Kate and I first decided to try out some serious spanking, I picked up a pie server for under a buck at Walmart. While I plan on buying a nice leather one in the future (maybe one that leaves the word "slut" behind on her behind), for our initial experiments, the pie server worked quite well. It also has a nice serrated edge for an additional tactile sensation. Bonus! You can also try thin dowel rods, belts, and riding crops from actual farm supply stores (they seem to only be expensive at sex stores).

Restraints

This is one of the first major BDSM purchases Kate and I ever made, and it was one of the best investments we've ever made in our sex life. The straps run under the mattress, the cuffs are velcro and have easy fasteners. We've used this setup and the cuffs for countless sessions of great, sexy fun.

But when we first started out, we went to Walmart (your source for on-the-cheap sex equipment, apparently) and got some soft blue rope from the outdoor/camping/boating section. We also bought a giant value box of condoms and some whipped cream. Then we ran into some of our friends from school on the way to the checkout. Everyone pretended not to know what Kate and I clearly had planned for that night (what a night, though!).

Blindfolds, Hoods, & Masks

This category of toys is perhaps the easiest to replicate for experimentation. The simple blindfold is meant to cut off visual stimulation in order to accentuate the other senses. Masks and hoods range in purpose from cutting off hearing and smell as well, to dehumanizing a submissive for purposes of the scene. The cheap alternative? For the blindfold, there's always a simple scarf, bandanna, or sleep mask. For the masks and hoods, try a pillowcase or ski mask.

Nipple Toys

This is another easy one. Once you've experimented with nipple torture with the simple option I'll give you, you can move up to more elaborate and intense versions. Start with clothespins. Actually, start with your fingers. Make sure the partner who will be on the receiving end of the nipple torture likes that pain/pleasure mix. Then move up to clothespins. (I'm kind of curious to see just how many clothespins I can clamp onto Kate's breasts before she tells me to stop....) Once you've done that for a while, if you want something more intense, look into the higher grade toys you can find in sex shops or online.

A Word on Dildos & Insertables

There is one kind of toy for which there really is no substitute. Dildos are designed for insertion and made of materials that are safe for that kind of activity. I really do not recommend attempting to cut corners on this. This is one kind of sex toy where I definitely suggest that you invest in the real deal right off the bat.

If any of you have your own DIY sex toys, let us know in the comments section. What's your favorite sex toy? What kind of creative bedroom uses have you found for everyday objects?

At Long Last...

Had a bit of a dry spell, here recently. Kate had her period, which as I have previously discussed is a big turn-off for us (no judgment for those of you who are into that, of course). Then by the time that was over, she'd come down with a bit of early-fall cold. Also a mood-killer.

Finally, after nearly two weeks, we had sex again tonight. And it was pretty damn great. Both of us were pretty eager, so we kept things pretty straightforward. Although, during foreplay when she began stroking my dick while I sucked on her nipples, I told her that she might not want to do that too much. It had been two weeks after all. Once I'd fingered her to the point of her begging me to fuck her, I pulled off her underwear and plunged inside her. She was hot and wet and tight, and I knew I wouldn't last long. But then, neither did she. We both came together in about a minute. Clearly, the fact that it'd been two weeks accelerated things for her too.

Dream House

Everybody has plans for their dream house: what they would have if they could have a home custom built with whatever they want. Kate and I have plans like that. We want to give the kids a two-story toy room with a slide from the upper floor to the lower one. We want a big kitchen with lots of storage and a breakfast nook. I also want an adult playroom for Kate and I. Here's a quick overview of the features I want the room to have.

1. The Hidden Entrance

First thing we need is a hidden entrance. I want our secret bookcase door to swing outward to reveal a second door with a conventional handle and lock. So even if the kids do one day find that the bookcase opens, they still won't be able to get inside the playroom and be mentally scarred. I haven't really given much thought to the dimensions of the room. It just needs to be big enough for a bed and a wide array of dedicated toys and specialty furniture. I do plan to put soundproof insulation in the walls and in the back of the bookshelf. That way Kate can be as loud as she wants and no one will ever know.

2. The Bed

We need a good sized, comfy, sturdy bed with plenty of points for attaching ropes, chains, and cuffs. I want it adjusted to just the right height so I can easily fuck Kate from behind standing beside the bed. I also want hooks in the ceiling to chain Kate's hands above her head. Maybe invest in a sex swing, too.

3. Accessories & Toys
I was going to put pictures here, but there's way too much to list all at once. I want more sex furniture, a spanking bench, more to tie Kate to. I want whips, crops, and floggers. Vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, cock rings, nipple clamps...
Kind of getting excited thinking about it.

Shaved or Au Naturale...

I've been shaving my nether-regions for about five years now. Once in a while, I fall behind in maintenance (usually due to needing a new razor, running out of saving cream, or just plain laziness), and when I catch up and get the job done, I feel such a relief. I wonder how I ever could stand having hair down there in the first place.

But you probably don't want to hear about my pubic hair (or lack thereof) as much as you'd like to hear about Kate's. Personally, I love it when Kate shaves. She doesn't do it all the time (I know how much of a pain it can be to keep up with sometimes), but when she does, it's often a great sexy surprise. It's always great to slide my hand into Kate's underwear and not feel any hair. It always brings a smile to my face. Not only because I love the look and feel of her shaved pussy, but because it's her neon-flashing-lights invitation to go down on her. Now, I love performing oral sex on Kate, and I like doing it hair or no hair. But when she shaves, she's telling me "I really want you to go down on me tonight."

So I'll put the question out to any of your reading: Which do you prefer, shaved or unshaved? For you and/or your partner? Post your thoughts in the comments below.

The Best Problem in the World

So, it's fair to say that Kate is kind of a perfectionist ("Who me?" she would say), and ever since she found out about this blog, she has insisted that, if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right. That entails mostly making sure to post about something at least every other day. It also involves doing the legwork of drawing traffic to the blog (can't well be an exhibitionist if nobody's looking) by commenting on similar blogs. And it also involves spending several hours a night trolling other sex blogs and porn sites.

Keeping up on this blog has turned out to be a lot more work that I initially imagined. Searching out other blogs to see what sort of things they post about and spreading the word about our blog. Scouting out pornographic pictures to add to our "Steamy Pics" tumblr feed. Having extra and more adventurous sex in order to generate more material to write about. It's exhausting.

I can't believe I'm complaining about this, really. I mean, Kate and I are having more sex than usual, which is great. I'm spending long hours reading spicy stories about other couples that share their sex lives online. I'm looking at a myriad of porn sites (mostly other tumblr feeds) not only with the approval and encouragement of my wife, but often while sitting in the same room with her. Most guys, even if their wives don't mind them looking at porn, generally do so in relative secrecy (or so I assume).

So, yes, I'm complaining that I'm having lots of sex, reading steamy stories, and looking at lots of porn, because it's hard work. Really, I can't think of a better problem to have. I love you, Kate!

Playtime...

Last night, after a long time of planning and not-getting-around-to-it, Kate and I took our occasional BDSM indulgence to the next level. I established a "submissive's uniform" for her: a lacy black camisole and matching underwear. Oh, and a collar.

I explained to her that I want the collar to be the signal that we're in "play" mode. Then I grabbed the ring of the collar and yanked her face close to mine. I told her, "When you're wearing the collar, you belong to me. Understood?" She nodded. Then I said, "When you're wearing the collar, you will call me 'Master.' Understand?"

"Yes, Master," she replied. Hearing her call me that for this first time was incredibly hot. I kissed her and told her to lie back on the bed.

"I want to watch you touch yourself," I told her. She got to it. She slid her fingers inside the crotch of her underwear and began to rub herself. I watched as she massaged her clit and pushed her fingers inside herself. Her breathing quickened, she began to writhe and moan. Finally, she came moaning and shuddering.

I grabbed the collar ring again. "Who told you that you could come?" I demanded. Kate gasped. "You only come when I tell you to. Understood?"

"Sorry, Master," she said, breathlessly. I ordered her to get off the bed, get on her knees and bend over onto the bed. Then I took my pie server (an excellent and cheap option for trying out this sort of thing before investing in proper disciplinary implements), pulled down her underwear, and swatted her sharply on the ass with it. I spanked her with the server five or six times, then told her to sit back on the bed.

Out of the Goody Box, I got a pair of our soft handcuffs, and I cuffed her hands behind her back. I had her sit on the little bench at the foot of our bed and put a blindfold over her eyes. I took out my cock and slid it into her mouth. I watched as she sucked me, only able to use her mouth, and it was very hot.

I pulled myself out of her mouth and pulled down the top of Kate's camisole, letting out her breasts. Then I took some clothespins out of the Goody Box and clamped them down on Kate's nipples. She gasped as they closed on her, then I put my dick back up to her lips and ordered her, "Continue."

After a little more, I took my cock away again and pushed her to lean back against the bed. I pushed her underwear aside and shoved myself deep inside her, grinding my hips against her. I pulled out immediately, pulled Kate back up and told her, "Continue." I really enjoyed watching her suck my dick with her pussy juices all over it. I watched for a while, but I made myself stop. I didn't want to come just yet.

"Lay down on your back and take off your underwear," I told her when I untied her. After she obeyed, I crawled up on top of her, letting the head of my cock brush against her vulva. "I'm going to lick your pussy now," I said. "You may come." I pushed my mouth against her hard and furiously. I rubbed my tongue all over her clit, my arms wrapped around her thighs. She came, bucking and screaming, and I moved on to the next event.

I ordered Kate to lay on her front. Then I put cuffs on her ankles and hooked them to her leash, making her hold her legs up. I lubed up a red vibrator, one with little gel thorns sticking out all over it (Kate picked it out years ago, and we call it the "Darth Maul Penis.") and shoved it inside her wet pussy. I gradually turned up the vibration and smacked her on the ass with my hand and with the pie server. I loved watching her ass turn red as I hit her over and over. When I was done with this, I moved on to the finale.

I rearranged her cuffs so she had them on her wrists and thighs. "You're going to make me hard so I can fuck you now," I said. I pulled her up into a sitting position and stood over her, making her suck my cock a little bit more to make sure it was completely rock hard. I ordered her to turn over, get on her knees and put her hands between her legs. I cuffed her wrists to her thighs and positioned myself behind her. I slid my dick into her pussy, so wet it was practically dripping.

"You may come," I told her as I began to fuck her hard and fast. "Thank you, Master!" she cried out while I pounded into her over and over. In the end, we came together, her screaming for me while I shot my cum deep inside her. I untied her and asked how she was feeling.

All she could manage was, "Mmmm..." We intend a repeat performance tonight.

Interruptions

As anyone with kids can tell you, sometimes they interrupt your sex life. This happened to Kate and I the other night. We were in bed, the clothes were on their way off, my hands were exploring and teasing Kate's body, when suddenly we heard the cries of our youngest from across the hall.

I sprang immediately from lover mode to dad mode, telling Kate, "We'll do the short version when I get the baby back to sleep." A bit of rocking an cajoling later, baby was asleep and I was back in the sack. I wasted no time this round, pulling Kate's pants and underwear off right away and beginning to rub her pussy while passionately kissing her. Then the baby started crying again.

"Alright," I said heading out into the hall again, "the short short version then..." I made extra sure the baby was really asleep this time before heading back to bed.

The short short version consisted of my shoving fingers inside Kate's pussy, quickly making her wet, and spreading her wet goodness out onto her labia. I dipped back in a few times for more, but she was soon as ready as I was. I got on top and fucked her hard and fast, both of us climaxing in just a few minutes. Quick, but still satisfying.